When I began my first job a few years ago, I was lost. There were all these expectations set by others about what I was supposed to do with my life. I took a job at an early startup that fell into “hot” industries. Something didn’t feel right for me. I felt like I wasn't truly in control of my own destiny.
One day I was at a coffee shop with a former teacher and current mentor of mine. He asked, "what are your core values?" I was surprised to realize I didn't have a solid answer. I always knew there was an underlying moral compass I tried to live by, but I had never truly taken time to write them down in a way that could be useful for making life decisions.
After that meeting I went through a process to write my core values. Those values were and still are: love, health, reliable (for friends and family), curious, sincere, and independent. Knowing that these beliefs are central to who I am, I went into beast mode. Fearless of what was ahead, I made the decision to control my life (independence) by networking and being open to new opportunities. Along the journey, I took my health/fitness goals and curiosity to learn graphic design to another level. These actions led to a more fulfilling life because I was living in alignment with what matters to me.
Since doing the work to find this clarity, I've made several life changes. I travelled to three countries I dreamed of seeing, moved to New York City, and found a role with a growing ad tech company that I'm thriving in. When I think back on the catalyst for these changes, it was defining my core values, and using them to guide my decisions that helped me take this leap in my life and career. It was this clarity that brought change!
If you’re feeling a little lost or using 2018 to understand yourself, you might find a similar exercise useful for you. Here are the steps I took to gain clarity in my core values, which led to meaningful changes in my life and career.
What are core values and why do they matter?
Core values are the foundational beliefs one has. Core values act as a compass to direct actions, to assess right or wrong, and to create focus. They help individuals stay on the right path to achieve goals, and focus on the path when obstacles come along. With core values, you will identify your true self and have the confidence and direction to reach your goals.
1.Reflect on your life.
When have you felt the most happy? Inspired? Sad? Lost? I know, this sounds so cheesy and if you’re like me, you want to skip this step. However, this step is the most important for your growth. You have to reflect to truly understand yourself. For me, reflection is my best and worst trait. At times when I felt lost or disappointed with myself, reflection made me feel worse but also pushed me to be better. Reflect - there’s almost always something new to learn.
2. Identify what’s important to you.
Write down all those mushy things you care about. Define why they’re important. Is it friends and family? Money? Health and wellness? Career development?
For me it’s all of the above - my brothers are pretty cool dudes. Without my health, I wouldn’t be able to do everything else I love - like go hiking or pet all the dogs. By constantly thinking about what’s important to me, I am motivated to get out of bed each day and take charge of life. Perhaps this will help you do the same.
3. Reflect on what motivates you.
Although this step is difficult, it is critical to the development of your core values. What motivates you is what gets you out of bed, or push a little harder at the gym. Maybe your motivation relates to what’s important to you - for me, they work closely together. For example, it’s important to be healthy and this motivates me to eat well.
4. Envision your ideal self.
Do your actions align with the ideal way you imagine living your life? If not, what is misaligned? Without beating yourself up, identify the areas you could improve on to close the gap between your current behaviors and your ideal self.
5. Create specific and actionable goals for 3-5 of your values of importance from above.
If you want more than just a list of your core values, then create specific goals that you can hold yourself accountable to. For example, my health/wellness goal is to run a half-marathon by June and to practice yoga a few days a week.
To take all this a step further, try making a chart for each core value and goals, then list why you care to obtain those goals. I did this and posted it on my bedroom wall to view each day and help me focus! Another option is to vision goals in your life, similar to how Lewis Howes’ describes so on the How to Win in Business and Life (8 Keys to 2018) podcast. I highly recommend listening to the full episode for an inspiring start to the new year!
Hope this helps you in being your best self in each component of your life! Would love to hear from others on how their core values have influenced action - please feel free to comment!
Live life to the fullest and be your best self!
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